SUCCESS as a concept, a value, and a goal intrigues me still because the very idea of achieving it was instilled in my three siblings and me almost from birth. Of course, there were other ideals, values, and objectives attached to us as well but, in my mother’s worldview, the success she felt we could achieve, would somehow inoculate us against many of the legal and social strictures that crippled the hopes and dreams of many of her generation.
Her wisdom belied her tender age and experience when she married my father at age 16. One of the many valuable lessons she taught us was echoed in an article I read recently about Max Gouchan, a 20-year old Norwegian entrepreneur, who reflected on the necessity sometimes to overcome our instincts. Gouchan opined “simply taking the time (to) put yourself out there, and going out of your comfort zone to meet new people – even those you might have reason to avoid – can be the key to your success.” In this instance, Gouchan was referring to an aspect of Steve Jobs’ path to success.
My mother cautioned us against surrendering too frequently to the limits of our experience, knowledge, and instincts. “Never become too comfortable with what you think you know” she would say – your age notwithstanding.
Recalling her advice while paraphrasing Gouchan, she, too, would remind us, just by showing up and taking an affirmative posture with others even though you did not want to be bothered, would become necessary in life. She did it voluntarily and also out of necessity for her family. Successful people do this; they overcome their instincts.
I recall vividly several occasions earlier in my career while revealing my limitations, being advised by a mentor to “Shut up! Show up! And do as you’re told!” I did and I prospered.
In the Winter 2013 issue of DirectSellingLive.com’s Distributor Magazine (“Direct Sales and the Black Community: Creating Black Wealth”) I spoke of wealth creation in the African American community and why evidence proved the direct sales industry leveled the playing field to achieve this – for the willing. Since that article was published, several people have reached out to tell me how timely the information was and how it has given them a new perspective on the direct sales industry.
I would offer that African Americans’ low level of participation in indirect sales is partially attributed to the behavior I describe.
Often, too often, we are captive of our self-imposed limitations when opportunities available – in this instance – through direct sales are presented to us.
We see no value in showing up and saying yes to new ideas and those associated with them when it feels like we don’t want to be bothered.
Far too often, we do not have a better option, just a predilection to say “no” in one or one hundred words. The verbal tradition is still strong.
One of the best pieces of advice I ever received from an early mentor and well respected ambassador (who also had the courage to defy Henry Kissinger) was to study the successful – in any field of endeavor. What qualities of character, what behaviors contributed to their success? What inspires them and what behaviors and personal qualities are worthy of emulation? Be around them when you can and learn!
When in the pursuit of success you lack ideas or options, how is it that you can lend credence to the notion that you can’t be bothered by an invitation to say “yes” to something that creates success for so many others? What is it that they know that you should be learning?
Imagine if master networker Holton Buggs had told a college dorm mate he could not be bothered when invited to a meeting that ultimately set the course for his multi-million dollar future? Or, the founder of Facebook invited several friends to a meeting; several showed up. The rest did not; they couldn’t be bothered. I was invited to a meeting by one of the more successful people in direct sales and two things happened: a) I began to enjoy the best health of a lifetime and, b) I have a deep appreciation for the power and reward of direct sales, an industry I once felt was something that attracted our mothers to earn a few dollars for Easter and Christmas. Like so many, my worst enemy was between my ears.
Each of us bears the major responsibility for the SUCCESS that may have eluded us because. we are capable of informed CHOICE. Occasionally, choice entails RISK. Risk can instill fear or it can INSPIRE. The successful are inspired by the possibility of success as a reward for risk.
The cycle of life on the continuum of time is but a speck. That speck of time does offer moments to reflect on dominant themes in our lives, decisions made and our level of satisfaction with how we lived.
Will one of the dominant themes in your memory be of risks taken and success achieved? Or you could not be bothered? The choice was yours to make.
